Friday, November 25, 2005

Take the children away now

My classes have all cancelled this morning and if it wasn’t for the DVD cooking in my drive at the moment I would begin to contemplate how long I could get away with playing games at the office. The answer to this, of course, would be as long as I bloody well pleased, but oh how they would talk about me when I leave.

Leaving Japan is going to be just as big a step as coming here in the first place. Already the past 18 months of financial security are beginning to drift away slowly as long term planning mode (career angst) is kicking in and forcing me to do something creative and interesting with my life. At this stage I don’t even know where in the world I want to live. New Zealand will be an option only if I can find the kind of job I am looking for. Either writing, photography or film work will be necessary to keep me in the country, if I get one of these kinds of positions then I will contemplate using my savings to knock of a significant chunk off my student loan. If not I will use them to catapult myself overseas to…not sure yet, but it will probably involve one of the very large cities where many of my friends have taken up residence in the past few years. More on this topic later.

Sometimes I grow weary of maintaining the ‘nice friendly teacher’ appearance. I love to revel in many irresponsible activities and if anyone in any position of authority here knew the full extent of my activities prior to Japan they would question their decision to place me as a role model for young people in their schools. For example yesterday I was tasked with conducting elementary classes. You have to be in the right frame of mind to deal with 25-45 screaming children. It is very rare for me to ever be in this frame of mind and I have to blatantly feed of the positive energy generated by the classes themselves to bring myself up to their level. This in turn means that I start all of my classes in very grumpy clown mode and eventually warm up to being nice. Sometimes. I will never ever take any job that deals with young children again, especially those who do not speak the same language as me. My patience for exploratory hands, screaming, jumping, flying bodies, dirt, scabs, measles scars and food stained clothing has worn out entirely.


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